F-A-S-T

Lately I feel like a dictionary as Carson evolves into a one child spelling machine. He is constantly asking how to spell something and then his sponge of a brain soaks it up like only young mind can. I am amazed at his ability to retain information these days and he certainly makes me a proud mama. Yesterday we learned how to spell a few new words.

Fast: F-A-S-T, Vomit: V-O-M-I-T, and Fever: F-E-V-E-R.



As you can see, it was a fun day here at our house. Carson started puking after his nap and stopped by bedtime but it came fast and hard. We probably topped out at over 20 times in those short hours. Our floors have now been scrubbed three times in the kitchen AND bathroom along with the couch cushion covers washed, two blankets, three pillow cases, and many pairs of pjs. I have to thank Al for doing all the laundry because after all of that puking and taking care of a sick Carson, mommy needed a break!



This morning things were back to normal and Eli decided to start retching and so we had to let him vomit out of his g-tube for about an hour. That's the problem with a fundo, stomach bugs can really be an ugly sight. Everyone is back to being healthy and smelling clean tonight without fevers. Unfortunately a nice semi-croupy cough seems to be peaking it's ugly head out with both boys.

Eli needs to stay healthy because he will be admitted on Wednesday and Thursday to Childrens for a bronch, lung wash, and probable pH probe and endoscopy. Keep your fingers crossed that his lungs stay healthy enough to get these tests done. The little stinker is getting rather skinny (you will see in the new pics of him in his big boy underwear) due to the picky eating habits he has developed lately. Eli is making huge gains intellectually where he is falling short physically so we are happy to see that his brain isn't suffering AT ALL! He talks in 6-8 word sentences and loves to tease poor Carson. He is potty trained during the day with only a few accidents a week (maybe 1-2 peed pants). Once this boy has his mind set on something, there is no turning him back....he wanted big boy underwear so he got them! Now if we could just get the physical/medical stuff figured out, he would be all set.



Enjoy the new pics. I will try to update before we go into the hospital on Wednesday but I work a 12 hour shift tomorrow and an 8 hour one Tuesday so time may be short. If I can't get an update in, I'll post when we're in the hospital.

Eli "On the BUS!"

Today was our baby's very first day of school. Eli was excited all weekend about going to school and riding the bus. He told everyone he saw about "the bus" and his teacher Mrs. Catie. This morning when we woke up at 6:15 he was a different child. Gone was the happy, smiley Eli and instead there was a straight-faced, sleepy Eli. This wasn't entirely surprising since Eli doesn't usually wake up before 8 unless Carson wakes him up but it still made me more uncomfortable putting him on a strange bus to a new school. Last year when we sent Carson to school at 3 years old I thought it was hard and scary but it didn't compare to my feelings this morning. Putting Eli at 2 years old on a bus for an hour each way to a school full of new and unfamiliar things made me feel like the worst mommy of the year. As I pulled out of the driveway and off to work I couldn't stop thinking that he would be crying and not know where he was or why mommy and daddy left him. Thankfully my fears were unfounded.



Eli was dropped off at 12:45 and Al said he was ALL SMILES!! He won't stop talking about *the bus* and how it goes "honk, honk". School was fun and full of kids and playtime and snack! He peed in the potty once at school and was super proud of himself to top it all off. Mommy is officially relieved (for today anyway!). Now if I can just get used to sending my two and four year olds off to school on their respective BUSES, things at our household will be great. One day down, 16 years to go!

Off to work I go....

Tomorrow I start my first day of orientation as an RN. I can't wait to start my career but I will be missing my two boys for the first two weeks. Wish me luck because this orientation is the beginning of something I have been working hard at for six years.

Back to School

This was Carson's first week back to school. He has the same teachers and therapists this year and is feeling like quite the big kid in the classroom. Ms. Linn has sent home several notes mentioning how well Carson is leading the other children in the class and acting like a role model. This of course sends Carson into a thirty minute session detailing all of the ways he helps out and encourages everyone else. He is too cute and completely embracing his four-year-old self. I can't help but play the role of the gushing, proud mommy ;) It's amazing that only a short year ago he was the little three year old boy who was timid and unsure of riding the bus. My baby is growing up and doing a fine job at it along the way.

Here is Carson LAST year looking so much younger

And here he is on Tuesday looking quite BIG and GROWN UP!

Season Opener

For the first game of the season the neighborhood held a great Buckeye party complete with big screen tv outside, food, friends, kids running around, and best of all, an Ohio State WIN! To ice the cake, the Ohio State vs. Youngstown State game was followed up by the last 5.5 minutes of the Michigan vs. Appalachian State game. Our biggest rivals fell hard, 34-32, to a Division I-AA team from their national pre-season poll ranking of #5.

So much for pre-season rankings ;) It was the first ever loss of a nationally ranked team to a I-AA team. Way to make history Wolverines.

Go BUCKEYES!

The last picture is my dad, mom, little sister, and then the rest of the family.

Sharing

I must have exceeded my normal parenting skills when I taught the boys their lesson on sharing. Carson started it all off by kindly sharing his head cold with accompanying croupy cough with Eli last Saturday. Then after a LONG week of caring for two whiny, sick, steroid filled boys, Carson and Eli decided to show mommy just how awesome a teacher I am.

That's right. Yesterday it started with a terrible sore throat and has progressed to a lovely combination of stuffy/runny nose, sneezing, coughing, crappiness that I wish the boys would have fought over themselves. Of course they are both on the upswing of this delightful little bug after another round of our good friend Mr. Steroid. Eli even won a four day vacation with his other special friend, Mr. Antibiotic.

At least mommy can be comforted by the fact that her all time favorite season of the year started tonight and she now can celebrate the start of College Football!! Bring on the games because I've been deprived since January from the best damn sport in the land. Of course as a loyal and true Ohioan, I will be cheering on The Ohio State Buckeyes. Don't worry....we already have our jerseys and scarlet and grey all set for Saturday! Go Bucks!

Officially an RN

Sorry for the delay on the post everybody. I was out celebrating a close friend's wedding who graduating nursing school with me Saturday night. Congratulations to Steve and Jady by the way! Now for the big news......

I passed! I'm officially a Registered Nurse! This is a time to celebrate for me but also a time to sweat a bit too. Now everything is on me. I'm no longer a nursing student who is learning the skills of nursing without a license. I am a professional with a license and everything that goes along with it. It is liberating and frightening all at once.

Two weeks from today I begin orientation at Children's Hospital. My dream of becoming a NICU nurse has come true after years of hard work. Now that August is ending it seems odd to not be meticulously organizing my notebook for next quarter and staining pages of $300 textbooks with bright yellow highlighters. The next step is here and I can't wait to jump in feet first.

172,800 seconds is such a L-O-N-G time

It is done.
Completed.
In the history books.

The computer shut off at 75 questions. After a surprisingly quick 50-ish minutes.

All of the studying, years of school, clinicals, student loans, hands-on experience, blood, sweat, and tears was over before I knew it. My NCLEX was not the end of the world. I didn't spontaneously combust. My hands didn't turn into pools of liquid jelly. My heart stayed within the confines of my ribcage. And my brain didn't decide to completely blank out at the most inconvenient of times.

What did happen you ask?

Time stopped. The second that computer screen went blank and my knowledge on how to safely and effectively care for a variety of patients at the level of a registered nurse was over, the clock seemed to stop completely. In Ohio the NCSBN says it should take approximately 48 hours to post the results of the NCLEX-RN. 2,880 minutes. 172,800 seconds. Approximately, of course!

So, even though my confidence in my performance was through the roof during the exam and I breezed through the questions, my post-exam anxiety will exponentially grow the closer and closer it gets to Saturday morning. I may spontaneously combust, turn to liquid jelly, or forget everything I know. Or just painfully review each and every question and answer from those 50 minutes this morning. And my BAC may remain elevated through the next 48-72 hours as well ;)

A Simple Question

Stacy from The Preemie Experiment poses an important question in the post How Much Do You Tell? for parents of preemies. We have all been in those situations where someone asks "How old are they?" or "Why do they need that?" in reference to various medical equipment. Then there are the harder questions like, "Why can't they focus?" or "Oh, will they ever be normal?".

As a parent of a micropreemie who is doing well for a 25 weeker and a 30 weeker with ADHD and sensory issues, I often am caught trying to find the *right* answer. Often it depends on the person asking, as many of Stacy's commenters will write. Doctors and therapists get the whole, fought-my-butt-off-to-be-here truth. Caregivers get all the important information. Friends somewhere in between. And strangers, a wide variety. I find that my medication background and nursing degree sometimes hurt me in this area because I am much more likely to give the TMI or Too Much Information reply. My brain is wired to medical knowledge.......I forget that not everyone else is set to that mode. This doesn't dismiss the fact that these questions do get asked and will continue to need answered for many years to come for both Carson and Elias. The goal is to get the answers down to a science.

One of the commenters, Chris wrote: "When a parent faces off with this question, s/he may learn that they are still quite traumatized by their child's disabilities. I think this is often evident in the need to spill one's guts, to retell the story, giving colorful detail. To me this means that we aren't over it. And I think some listeners say "Whoa!" meaning TMI (too much information)."

Stacy responded with this, "After reading what Chris had written, I started to think about the times when I've given strangers the full version of Paige's birth story. I've come to the conclusion that Chris is correct. There have been times when I have told the story because I was truly not over it. There are days when that is still true.

The other side of the coin is I feel the need to tell people about Paige's prematurity in hopes they will understand (and sympathize) why Paige is so socially different. When she acts inappropriately, I feel the need to make people understand the reason behind it. I think it's especially hard because Paige appears normal because of her large vocabulary. So, when she acts odd compared to her peers, I am brought back to reality."

Stacy echos my thoughts so closely when trying to determine how to respond to questions about Carson's behavior. I think the behavior aspects of long-term prematurity impact are often times judged more and questioned verbally less than the more visually obvious physical impairments. This often causes parents of preemies with social and behavioral disabilities to jump the gun a bit explaining their child's actions. I find myself doing it in public with Carson and then looking back and questioning why I felt the need to tell the lady at the park why. His amazing vocabulary and advanced speech in addition to being the height of a six-year-old make people think Carson is much older than his four years.

So, what is the correct answer? Stacy's reply fits how I often feel, but is that the best for all involved? I can't answer that right now but it was comforting to find another parent with the same emotions and thought process involved. Thanks Stacy.

The Bear

A conversation between my friend Mandy and Carson this afternoon.....

Mandy: "I've decided when I get married, you are going to be the ring bearer in my wedding Carson."

Carson: "Mandy, I am not a bear. I am a kid. Does it look like I have four legs all in a row and one head?"

No.1 vs. No.2

What happens when your overzealous 4-year-old with an empty glass root beer bottle decides that his 2-year-old little brother has taken his movie watching seat?

On the way to the ER

Pre-stitches Medication

All better after 3 Stitches!

Eli was such a brave little boy in the ER. He never cried or squirmed or fussed. The suture tech was quite impressed at how calm he stayed throughout the stitches. The whole time Eli was chatting him up with info about his favorite trucks along with the noises they each make. I thought Eli was going to give him a giant hug when the suture tech told Eli that his other job was driving giant firetrucks! That made our night and from that point on Eli only talked about the "nice boy who drives firetrucks". The sutures will dissolve in 5-7 days. Too bad we can't get his hair or head wet AT ALL until then and Eli has to go around looking like a cute little girl with curly hair and a barrette. They want us to keep his hair clipped back until his head lac is closed in 5 days so we are now the proud parents of Elietta.

Oxygen Free and Home!

We are finally home after a long four day stay at Children's Hospital. Eli is feeling much better and is overjoyed to not have his nasal cannula on anymore. He came home on Orapred, a new dose of Flovent (3 times the amount he was on previously), and a new dose of Prevacid. We have to go back for a broncoscopy, lung wash, 24 hour pH probe, and ENT consult. He also has follow-up with pulmonary next Wednesday to discuss his BPD and aspiration along with the status of his "public" tolerance. It sucks that a tiny cold and a little croupy cough can land Eli in the hospital on oxygen 2 years after his birth.

Yesterday he had two tests done to look for abnormalities in his airway structure (video airway fluoroscopy) and aspiration (video swallow study). The airway fluoro was GREAT and showed no abnormalities. This means that Eli's raspy voice and horseness is most likely not from tracheomalacia, laryngomalacia, or a stenosis. Casron has mild tracheal stenosis so we were hoping Eli didn't. Unfortunately the swallow study didn't go as well. First of all, any of you that have a two year old know that getting them to do what you want, when you want it is nearly impossible. Eli was being a typical toddler and his own stubborn onry self. We did get him to drink about 6 swallows of strawberry flavored barium out of a straw cup and 2-3 out of and open cup....the sippy cup was unsuccessful. While Eli did not show massive aspiration in any of these swallows, he did have a ton of pentatration and micro-aspiration on every one. This means that he is still aspirating at least at a micro level ALL the time, and most likely at a larger level in the evening when we witness his coughing/wheezing symptoms. We are now back to thickening on everything which is going to be so much for for Eli.

They also want Eli to have another 24 hour pH probe. pH probe you say? Yes....you are thinking correctly when your mind goes straight to GERD/reflux and then to the fact that Eli had a Nissen fundoplication done in May of 2006. He isn't supposed to be refluxing and aspirating the reflux AT ALL. GGRRRRRR. They think that some of Eli's symptoms could also be the GERD coming back and him aspirating at night causing the raspy voice and further lung damage! I could just cry. We almost lost Eli after his fundo surgery last summer and I will be devastated if he is having the same problems again. So, for now we are back on a large dose of Prevacid until the pH probe is scheduled.

Eli will also be having a bronch to see how extensive his BPD damage is and how much of his damage is being caused by his aspiration. They will also do a lung wash during the bronch to look for positive signs of aspiration. The pulmo said he can clearly hear the thickening of Eli's lungs and inflammation so he wants to get in there and check it out. Flovent up to 2 puffs of 110mcg BID. Fun times.

But.....to end this post, Eli is still the smiling, happy, flirting, curly-headed boy who we took to the ER on Saturday evening. He charmed the pants off the medical staff. They were amazed at his developmental progress. One doctor even asked if she had the right room when she met Eli because from the outside he looks so darn good for a 25-weeker. We were proud parents bragging about his abilities to count to 14, know all of his animal sounds, speak in sentences, etc. It was great to have them acknoledge all of our (and Eli's) hard work to get him to the place he is now. We are truly blessed to have our little man doing so well :) Check out the pictures in the next post to see his hospital stay.....

Hospital Pics

These were taken with my camera phone.....

Eli with Mommy in the ER

"I don't like my oxygen."

Breathing is hard work

Day #2....Not Looking so Hot

Watching TV w/ Daddy

Day #3

Brushing my Teeth

Oxygen Free on Day #4!!

Hospitalization # ?

Eli has been in the hospital since Saturday due to low sats and needing oxygen. He has been weaned from 1.5 liters down to 0.5 liters during awake times and 1 liter during sleep. He is scheduled for a bronch and a video swallow study tomorrow and hopefully we will be out in a few days if O2 weaning is successful. I'll try to update with pictures and more news tomorrow or Wednesday.

Touch-A-Truck

Our city hosts a wonderful event every August called "Touch-A-Truck" Day where children can come and see, touch, get inside, explore, and even honk horns and turn on lights and sirens of all kinds of trucks. They bring out firetrucks, ambulances, car carriers, 18-wheelers, city buses, senior citizen buses, police cars, school buses, utility trucks, bucket trucks, animal rescue trucks, diggers, zoo trucks, race cars, and more. Carson and Eli were in heaven and didn't even know where to start! They were able to blow the air horn on an 18-wheeler, explore a giant firetruck, and meet real policemen, firemen, and EMTs! We could have stayed all day long but after about an hour of endless fun Eli's breathing started acting up (it's 90+ degrees and humid here) so we headed for the car to give his lungs a break. No doubt we will be back to Touch-A-Truck day next year. It was the best free entertainment Al and I could have gotten for the boys and they haven't stopped talking about it all day long. Enjoy the video (I just couldn't narrow down which pics to choose!). Click twice on the play button to get the video to play :)

"Mommy, I'm Stuck!"

Yesterday Eli decided he would have a battle with the strawberry jelly container. Unfortunately the jelly lid turned out to be somewhat of a trap. A confused little Eli came walking into the living room with the entire squeezable jelly container hanging off of his right index finger. His raspy voice managed a calm, "Mommy, I'm stuck" that invoked my heart to jump right out of my chest. After unscrewing the jelly portion from the attached lid I went to work. Many attempts later with soap, pam cooking spray, butter, and lotion, the stubborn finger was just too swollen to slide back out of the lid. By this time he was loosing color and temperature in his finger and so we were off to the ER.

Too bad my keys were in Al's car with him at work!

Thankfully my parents came to the rescue and were at my door in five minutes. Traffic was a nightmare due to a concert and so my dad decided to take Eli back to his house and try to cut it off. An exacto knife and two pairs of pliars along with a talented BobPop (that is what Eli calls my dad) finally broke through the plastic lid and freed Eli's finger. Our little guy was so calm and quiet through the whole thing. He never cried once and was perfectly still. When my dad was all done Eli just looked at him and said, "Thank you BobPop, I'm all better." Color and temp started to return to his finger and it was almost back to normal in twenty minutes.

Leave it to Eli to find another reason to go to the hospital. I think he just missed the place because we haven't been there for an emergency since the middle of May (thank God!).

I need to thank my parents along with my trusty beverage of choice for getting me through another "boys will be boys" moment in Kellie history!

"Honk, honk!"

Carson and Eli have been enamored with trucks of all kinds for basically their whole lives. Carson's recent trip to Missouri with his Grandparents only strengthened that love. We all know how life-saving portable DVD players are on long road trips for our sanity and my in-laws picked up a truck movie for Carson to watch during the twelve hour drive. On top of this addicting 18-wheeler movie, Uncle Ivan's house was smack dab in front of a common route for grain and farm animal trucks. Carson could sit on the big front porch and signal to the truckers to honk at him (while shouting "honk, honk" of course) all day long.

When Carson arrived home after a week of vacation he decided to share his new found trick with Eli. Now I have two toe-headed little boys constantly yelling, "Honk, honk!" everywhere we go. They have toy 18-wheelers and insist on watching the truck DVD at least twice a week. Tonight for my viewing pleasure, the truck movie was the show of choice eagerly shouted accross the room when I asked what movie they would like to watch before bedtime. Instead of soaking up all of the quality songs and valuable facts about 18-wheelers and CB radio language, I decided to snap some pics of my two truck-obsessed kiddos indulging their pleasure.

Enjoy!

" Thanks Mom, You're the BEST!"

Moment of intense concentration

"HONK, HONK!!!"

My Beach Boys

We are home from a well deserved, relaxing vacation at the beach where we rented a villa in a campground and my parents camped in their 5th wheel. This was our first vacation since Carson's first birthday and it was so much fun. The boys loved the beach and swimming in the ocean. Carson was a wild man running straight down the sand and jumping full force into the waves over and over again. He found it necessary to go up to almost every kid on the beach within a 5 year age range of himself and make them his friends. It was amazing to watch his social skills take the lead for one of the first times in his life. He hammed it up and made many, many girlfriends (making his daddy so proud). Eli was a bit more timid the first couple of days but by the end of the week he was asking for "more water, more ocean, more splashing" all the time. The weather was perfect and no one got sunburned a single time! We topped off a wonderful beach week with four days in Tennessee visiting Granny and Papaw, Uncle Aaron, Great Aunt Janet, and Great-Granny and Papaw.

Carson and Eli were ready to come back to home after nine days of vacation but Carson is already talking about the next time that we go to the beach. It went too fast but being able to see my two boys enjoy themselves to the fullest and get to be normal kids without having to worry about PT/OT/Speech and countless doctors appointments was such a blessing. The only person at the beach who said anything about Eli's MIC-key button was a six year old little girl who wanted to know what it was. I can't wait for our trip to the beach next year so I can see how much they have grown.

See the next post for beach pics!!!

Vacation Pictures!

Yummy Watermelon

Muscle Man Carson

Bucket Head Eli

Mom and Dad

We're "So BIG!"

Where are my sunglasses Mom?

Eat up Little Man

Looking at the ants eating Watermelon juice

I've been tagged!

I've been tagged by Jessica to post 8 random facts about myself.

I have to post these rules before I give you the facts:

1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write in their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

Okay, here goes....

1.) I am a terrible procrastinator (if you have been *reading* my blog the past few months you already know this). In college I would wait until hours before a large paper was due to start writing it, then stay up all night working and still get an A. It is my downfall.

2.) During the fall I am an avid college football fan. I watch SportsCenter religiously and every game I can fit into my schedule. The best team in the country is always the OHIO STATE BUCKEYES no matter where they fall in the rankings. Don't argue.

3.) I am glad I have two boys. As a tomboy at heart, raising girls would have been a bit tricky.

4.) My inseam is 36". Try finding inexpensive jeans or dress pants with legs that long!

5.) I am adopted.

6.) Since the age of five I have been plagued by migraines.

7.) Ice cream is my weakness.....any flavor, any time :)

8.) Life would be perfect for me if mommies had nap time too. I love a good nap and on most days with the boys, I could use one!

Okay....almost everyone has done this meme since I was on vacation when Jessica tagged me so I am going to leave it up in the air until I find someone who hasn't done it yet (I know...more procrastination).

Get the smelling salts....I'm BACK!

Yes, my absence over the past month and a half has been extensive and for that I apologize.....but, so much has happened that my computer time has been limited to a rarity and the blogging has suffered. We are however, all alive and doing awesome!

First off....Happy Belated Birthday to my two precious boys. I can't believe Carson is now 4 years old and Eli is 2. Where has the time gone? My teeny, tiny, barely living (and in Eli's case at birth, not living) boys....are now HUGE. Here is a quick synapses of their stats since this post would be a record holder if I went through everything in detail.

Carson at 4 years old:

weight- 38lbs (50th%)
height- 43.75" (99+%)
weight-for-height- less than 5th%

Elias at 2 years old:

weight- 27.5lbs (50th%)
height- 36" (85th%)
head circ- 50.5cm (90th%)
weight-for-length- 25th%

***Eli's stats are for his ACTUAL, UNADJUSTED age***

So, Carson is extremely thin but a giant in terms of height. This kid better bring me home some NBA or professional volleyball money some day in the future. Unfortunately he is only interested in soccer at the moment but he's having a blast learning to play it. Also, who would have guessed that our FAILURE TO THRIVE child of just a few short months ago would now be *BIG* on the growth charts!! I'm so proud of Eli's growth lately that my face just hurts from grinning. He has overcome so much in terms of his extreme FTT from last summer/fall (14lbs and 30") that to see him finally growing and thriving is such a blessing. Thank God for the Nissen and his g-tube and all of his doctors and therapists along with a ton of hard work and perseverance. Whew, has this been a year.

I also have more wonderful news about our little 25 weeker. Eli officially tested at 25-26 months on his Bayley-3 developmental screening exam at the NICU follow-up clinic for ALL areas EXCEPT gross motor. In gross motor Eli tested at 19 months due to his hypotonia and possible cerebral palsy. This was expected from the assessment but the 25-26 month stuff wasn't and we were amazed (as were his neonatologists and his therapists). Eli was d/c'd from the NICU clinic because they only follow infants until they are 2. He is heading over to the pulmonary clinic to further follow his BPD, aspiration, raspiness of his voice, and chronic wheezing/asthma. Hopefully they will have some answers for us that will help improve his respiratory function. He is headed to school in the fall 4 mornings a week to help incorporate his therapies and education together and help his hypotonia and clumsiness.

Carson is also making huge strides. He learns more things everyday. Right now our favorite pastime besides playing all day outside and wearing mommy out, is learning how to spell everything. He is up to almost 10 words that he can spell by himself including raccoon, dog, cat, and milk. His love for learning astounds me and he is like a little sponge. To watch him make connections that he wasn't making just a few months or weeks ago is cute and he gets a sneaky grin on his face when he is trying to solve a puzzle or figure out a problem. We are messing with his medications right now to try and find the right combo to let him function, play, interact, and sleep in a normal fashion and still be the Carson that we love to death. So far Melatonin has been working well to help get him to sleep and keep him asleep for the past week ***keep your fingers crossed*** Carson is going on a big trip with Granny and Papaw Bass to Missouri next week and can't wait for his 'big boy' vacation.

I graduated and am now studying for my NCLEX exam which I will take in late July-early August. After passing my NCLEX I will start work in the NICU at Children's Hospital where the boys spend way too much time. I am so privileged to have this amazing opportunity. Out of all of the nursing positions I ended up with my dream job and the weeks just will not pass fast enough until I can get into that NICU and dive right in. I will add some fun pictures of the boys and their birthdays along with a great post about their trip to my friend Mandy's farm on Sunday when I get home on Thursday. Just wait until you see the boys driving tractors!

Update and a Bloody Surprise

Just a quick update because I'm exhausted....

Thanks for all of the prayers guys! You are all the best. Eli is home from the hospital now but last night was interesting to say the least. I originally took him down to the ER because of his wheezing and temp but when I was dropping off Carson at my parents house he started retching. I vented him in the car before I left their driveway from his g-tube and tons of blood came out instead of the air I was expecting. When we got to the ER his temp was 104.2 and he was diagnosed with gastritis, a GI bleed, and an unknown virus that was causing the wheezing/temp. He had 4 x-rays of his chest and abdomen, was put immediately on NPO status, and had an IV placed. Surgery came down and assessed him because they thought he was going to have to be taken to the OR to stop the GI bleed. Thankfully the bleeding slowed and after a gastric lavage with saline and a CBC, the surgeon decided it was okay to let him go home on "blood watch".

Now we are home with an Eli with 102-104.3 fevers, pain, fussiness, and irritability. He isn't eating much and we're venting him q1hr to check for bloody drainage. If he has an increase in blood drainage from his g-tube or blood stools, back to the hospital we go for surgery. We meet tomorrow with his normal surgeon as well as his GI doctor to discuss where we go from here. His wheezing is much better and his lungs are back to "Eli normal". I just wish I could make my baby feel better. They also put him back on Prevacid because they think one possible explaination for the gastritis is too low of an acid pH in his stomach causing an ulcerated area. He hasn't been on any GERD meds since his Nissen fundoplication surgery 12 months ago.

I'll keep everyone updated but I just wanted to pop in and let you know how things went last night and thank you all for caring about us!

Prayers Please

Eli is pretty sick. He has a fever of 103.4, is extremely lethargic, and has been wheezing w/o regard to his Albuterol and Flovent for almost 24 hours. Please pray that it is not aspiration pneumonia as he has been having more difficulty the past few days with his liquids (more than normal ;) ). I'll update with more info as I get it.....

New Do

I finally went and got my hair cut this morning! I have been neglecting myself lately with nursing school and the boys taking first priority and my friend Mandy insisted that it was time for me to pamper myself a bit. I'm so glad she did because I'm feeling much better now that five pounds of hair have been cut off my head. Here are some pics of my new do....enjoy!

Crazy Dayz

After a 13+ hour day of clinical today to be followed by another 13+ hour day tomorrow, I'm exhausted! I had many great learning opportunities with my patients today and was able to handle a case load of four patients BY MYSELF on an ortho floor! YAY for me! But teh best part of the entire day was pulling up in my parents' driveway to see my two smiling boys come running to meet me shouting "Mommy, Mommy, You're home!". Nothing beats some giant squeeze hugs from Carson and sloppy wet kisses from Eli to make me lighter on my feet and put some energy back into my body after a long day. Now that they are in bed fast asleep, I think I will join them since 5:45 will come all too early.

Goodnight!

"You're Hired!"

That's right folks...I was offered the nursing position of my dreams today after my big interview yesterday morning. This summer after taking my NCLEX (and passing) I will officially be working in the NICU at Children's Hospital as an RN with my BSN. WHOOOHOOOO! All of my education has paid off and my goal of being a NICU nurse and helping families and infants go through one, if not THE, most trying times of thier lives. I thought my interview went quite well yesterday and after almost two hours with HR and the nursing manager on the unit, I felt confident that I would get an offer. They told me that I would know by the end of next week. Then after a hard and exhausting 13.5 hour clinical shift today, I came home to a message on my answering maching offering me a job! The pay is great, the benefits excellent, and the job is the whole reason why I changed majors from medical technology to nursing in the first place. What more could I ask for?

Oh yeah, and I'm not getting screwed over like the typical "new RN grad" and having to work night shift or rotating shifts. I was able to pick day shift and will be working 12s and am even able to pick a 36 hour or 40 hour/week schedule. Thanks for listening to me go on about the next step in my life for the past few minutes. I can't wait to get out there and start working with the patients that our wonderful Children's Hospital takes care of every day. Children's has been such an intrical part of our lives for the past year and has saved both Carson and Elias's lives. I will be proud to be employed at this institution right out of college.

We're Alive!

Sorry for no posts for the past three weeks....saying things have been hectic is an understatement. I'm in my final quarter before graduation (June 10th YAY!) and school is keeping me busy busy busy! The boys are finally both healthy after a lovely 11 day bout with Rotavirus. Thankfully we were able to keep both out of the hospital due to Eli's g-tube and Carson's love for gatorade and hot tea w/ honey. I'm sick of changing diarrhea diapers and cleaning up Carson's vomit though. Thank God it's over! We have tons of wonderful Easter pictures to post and when I get a break on Wednesday I am going to post a much better update with lots of great pics of my two monkeys.

I just wanted to let everyone know (if anyone is still reading) that we aren't dead or in the hospital but instead, consumed with the crazyness of the final quarter of nursing school, PT, OT, speech and feeding therapy, preschool, and the ever changing summer/winter weather of Ohio. Love for some fun pictures and a detailed update on Wednesday when my schedule is FREE for the first time in what seems like forever! Here's a sneak peek as a teaser....

Home at last

Carson was discharged late this afternoon from Childrens and we are home re-cooping from the past two days. He is in a lot of pain when his Tylenol w/ Codeine wears off and stops talking completely and kicking/hitting about 30 minutes before his next dose is due. We are almost positive the aggression is solely connected to his pain level and his inability to talk due to his throat hurting so much.

Last night was rough. He needed Morphine around 8:45 for break-through pain that caused him to start crying and screaming around 8pm. Thank goodness the ENT doc on-call was generous with his medications and Carson was pain free by 8:50 and sleeping by 9:45. He had a ton of desats all night long but they were all minor in the low to mid 80s. His baseline oxygen saturation was hanging around 90-91 so they debated adding a cannula for the night but Carson was not having anything on his face so they just watched him closely and stayed on top of his q2hr Albuterol and q4hr Flovent. He was wired this morning when he woke up and wanted to run around the room, down the hall, jump on the bed, scream, etc but REFUSED to eat or drink. Al finally got him to eat some jello, a few bites of eggs, and to drink some chocolate milk and we were cleared for discharge right before 4. Thank goodness because I did not want to stay an extra night because he wouldn't drink or eat.

We're home and resting for the next few days. Eli was "excited" to see Carson (his new favorite word is excited) and Macy licked him all over. It was obvious that our little man was much more comfortable at home than in the hospital and went right to sleep once he was in his own bed. I'm hoping the antibiotics and pain meds keep him infection and pain free for the coming weeks. Thanks for all of the well wishes. It was a new experience having Carson in surgery/recovery compared to Eli who is an old pro. It's much more tiresome with a 3.5 year old who isn't used to constant surgeries and hospitalizations than with a 20 month old who has had more than I like to count. I'm off to bed now but look for some great pics of Eli tomorrow on the blog.

Here are the pics of Carson's bronch. The top two pictures show the narrowing of his trachea (tracheal stenosis). The trachea should be a round, ring shape but as you can see, Carson's is a boxed shape with the right and left sides flattened by scar tissue. This scar tissue was caused by his intubation and ventilation during his NICU stay at birth. As I said in the previous post, he should grow out of the tracheal swelling and croup due to this narrowing in about 5 years. The bottom left picture is where his trachea splits and goes into his right and left lungs and the bottom right picture is of his vocal cords. Enjoy!

In-patient

Carson is out of surgery and up on the 4th floor of Children's Hospital for the night (at least). He did really well during surgery and he now has no tonsils or adenoids and brand new tubes in his ears. His ENT said that his tonsils were very large and that he will be a new kid with them out. His other ENT surgeon came out to talk to us and show us pictures of his bronch and tell us about Carson's trachea. It turns out that Carson does have tracheal stenosis but it is minor and WON'T require surgery. He has about a 10% narrowing of his trachea caused by being intubated at birth in the NICU. This narrowing is made up of scar tissue and makes his trachea square shaped instead of nice and round (I'll definitely post pics when I get home and scan them....they are cool!). It is almost 100% responsible for all of his croup in the past 3 years. His ENT said that we don't need to do any dilation procedures to try and widen the scar tissue or (thank God) any reconstructive trachea surgeries. The bad news is that we now must just wait for him to grow out of it. Their best guess is that it will take about 5 years before Carson doesn't get croup with every upper respiratory infection. They will treat him with steroids every time he gets a cold and/or URI so that the swelling and inflammation of his trachea is kept to a minimum since it is already partially narrowed.

Now on to post-op in the room. Carson is having a anesthesia reaction. He is bright red all over his face and arms. He is extremely tachycardic (around the 130-150 resting) and hypotensive. He is also having respiratory complications along with the reaction so they put him on q2hr Albuterol in addition to his Flovent and antibiotics. Carson has only desatted 4 times and it was only down to the 81-83 range so we aren't too concerned about his respiratory status but they are doing q30min vitals on him to make sure he's stabilizing and not getting worse. They finally have him off of the Morphine and moved onto Tylenol w/ Codeine and he is tolerating it pretty well. He is very nauseous from swallowing all of the blood but they are holding off on the phenergan order for another hour to see how he does. He will be on IV fluids until discharge because he isn't having much fluid intake and they don't want him dehydrating. So far we have gotten him to eat two whole purple Popsicles and three tiny bites of vanilla pudding. He also drank 2oz of apple juice.

I'm off to go watch some more movies, ready books, and try and make my big baby feel better. Sometime today I have to squeeze in some study time because my statistics final is tomorrow morning at 10 and it is cumulative over the whole book. I'll try to update tomorrow when we get home. Pray for an uneventful night full of sleep and good sats!

Carson's in surgery

We're waiting in the parents surgery waiting room at Children's Hospital for Carson to get done with his ENT surgery after arriving this morning for pre-op at 6:15. He is having his tonsils and adenoids removed, ear tubes put in, and a broncoscopy/laryngoscopy done to determine what his tracheal irregularity is. His left ear looked a bit infected in pre-op but they decided to go ahead with the surgery and pump him full of antibiotics b/c he needs to the tubes to prevent future hearing loss. His tonsils were at 3+ today with no illness so his ENT is happy to get them out of there. This should help him tremendously! They ended up giving him Versed prior to going back because his sensory issues were on overload this morning without his meds and with the extra anxiety/stimulation of pre-op. Thank God for Versed. He was a much more pleasant child after it and wasn't banging his head on the bed and bed rails. He was wheeled off to the OR with his handsome puppy in one hand and a kiss on the forehead from Mommy and Daddy. We should hear from the two surgeons in about 1.5 hours.

I'll update once he is out of recovery. We are hoping he is able to come home after several hours in recovery instead of needing to stay the night.

Another Life Lesson

Today was a hard day. A close friend of my little sister's was killed in a car accident on Wednesday at the young age of 22. They grew up together starting from first grade. We were on swim team together throughout out childhood, worked together as life guards at the local pool, and even lived in the same neighboorhood. Our parents continue to go out for drinks on occasion and play cards a few times a year. His dad lives a few houses down from my parents and a smile and wave from Sean was a welcome occurance after dropping off or picking up the boys from their house through the past few years.

Today was his showing. It's never easy going to a showing of someone you have known for years and years. It is even harder when the life lost is young and vibrant. Full of love and life and joy. Sean was a neat kid and it is an incredible loss to those who he touched in his 22 years here. May he rest in peace and continue to enjoy the art, music, and good wine wherever he is as he did here with those that he loved and that loved him. I pray that his family is able to find some sort of peace in the coming months and years. I hope my little sister is able to deal with loosing yet another classmate and friend (she has lost so many out of their graduating class already).

As a mother I have held my boys a little tighter once again because it is amazing how quickly life can change. They each got extra kisses and hugs tonight and Carson probably thought Mommy was a little crazy for wanting to snuggle longer at bedtime instead of turning out the lights early. I hope I never have to deal with the loss of one of my children. We have come too close a few times but to have that reality is unthinkable.

Last Week of the Quarter

This week begins the last week of my winter quarter. While I realize this brings me to the point of being ONE QUARTER away from graduation on June 9th, it also carries with it a boat load of stress, papers, exams, lab tests, discussion board postings, and studying. My planner is packed from beginning to end with nowhere to even squeeze eating in....hopefully I'll get at least four showers this week (I truly hope this is sarcasm).

The boys are doing well. Eli went through a lovely respiratory virus last week and ended up on steroids once again. I don't know exactly how many round of Orapred this makes for him this winter but it is a ton. He is still on Albuterol in addition to his normal BID Flovent but his wheezing is getting better and he's only coughing a lot at night now. We also had a great visit to his surgeon last week. His stats were 25lbs 1oz and 33.75" long. They decided to switch him to a shorter stem length on his MIC-key button b/c his old length was too long and he was continuously getting acid burns from leaking stomach acid out of his stoma. His new size is a 14 french, 1.5cm length. It had completely fixed his leakage probably and his stoma is healing with the help of some stoma barrier cream.

Carson is also having a good week. He has found a couple new loves. The first is crafts. Aside from the normal obsession of trains and trucks, Carson now wants to make crafts with scissors, tape, construction paper, markers, crayons, staples, punch-out shapes, pipe cleaners, etc at school and at home. It is adorable. He comes home from school everyday and pulls out piles of "pictures" that he made for me. His teacher, Ms. Linn, told us at his parent/teacher conference on Friday that he gets all excited to "make Mommy beautiful pictures b/c he knows his Mommy will love them". Gosh this age is wonderful. His second love is a bit harder to swallow but typical for a soon to be four year old. Carson has become infatuated with calling people names. Now these aren't mean names or rude names.....they are food item names. If you are in his presence you may be called any one of the following items: Coconut tree, pineapple, chicken, pear tree, grape, chicken pop, turkey, chicken livers, apple head, coconut lovers, pineapple bush with grapes, etc. It is becoming quite the annoying habit that is one of that hardest we've tried to break. Just imagine walking down the grocery isle to get your bread and an almost 4 year old shouts, "Hey you Pineapple bush!" in your direction. This is what my day consists of. Somebody please tell me this phase passes as well...



I am going to wrap up this post and finish procrastinating. My books are calling my name with their incessant nagging, "study me, learn me, know me". If I can only make it through the next 9 days, I will be ONE QUARTER (that is 10 short weeks of class!) away from graduating with my Bachelor's in Nursing! Oh what a day that will be.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Today is my birthday and my thoughtful little Carson decided to make me breakfast in bed. He went downstairs and dragged a chair into the kitchen and up to the freezer door. Next he opened the freezer and pulled out a box of Eggo Waffles. He said he picked the strawberry ones instead of the blueberry ones because the blueberry were his favorite (at least I'm teaching Carson to be honest, right?!). Then my bright 3.5 year old proceeds to open the unopened box of strawberry Eggo waffles, open the plastic to the inside package, and get out three waffles. Two for mommy's birthday and one for him. The toaster wasn't plugged in so he decided to plug it in himself (yes, we had a L-O-N-G talk about this point). While the waffles were toasting he climbed on top of the kitchen counters and got out two plates and two forks. Our waffles popped out of the toaster, needed butter and syrup, and a long journey upstairs to mommy in bed.

I was awoken by a loud "Happy Birthday Mommy! Here is your yummy breakfast! I made it all by myself just for you because I LOVE YOU! You are the greatest mommy ever!" Now what better birthday present could a mommy ask for???

Now don't worry, the kitchen didn't burn down, there wasn't butter and syrup all over everything, the rest of the Eggo waffles were returned to the freezer where they belong, AND we had a gentle discussion about needing an adult to help plug in appliances and cook food in the toaster/stove/oven/etc. He did a perfect job cleaning up after himself and what three year old knows how to make breakfast?? I think I am going to have him train Al! But boy was my Carson proud of himself for his culinary masterpiece birthday breakfast surprise for Mommy. As he should be. These are certainly the moments to cherish.

I love these boys!

This week has been fun with the boys. Carson behaved really well from Wednesday through today and has been a joy to be around. We have read books, done crafts, and played trains/trucks all day long. He just came over to me, hugged me, and said, "Mom, you are just a beautiful mommy!". How can you not love that? Eli on the other hand has been a fussy pants all week. We finally broke down and took him to the germ infested ped this morning to get checked out. Diagnosis: sinus infection. Lovely. Another round of antibiotics....this time Augmenten. His g-tube site is also looking icky still after his antibiotic round a month ago so hopefully this new round will help clear it up for good. We go to his surgeon for a post-op appt on Thursday so he will have a g-tube recheck then.

Valentine's Day went smoothly and we have spent the last few days going over and over all of the various cards Carson received from his friends at school HUNDREDS of times. This little guy just loves his valentines. Too cute. Carson then hides his valentine bag from Eli so the equally curious valentine lover doesn't tear them all to shreds!

Carson helped me bake a cake last night. He loves to pull his stool up to the counter and assist me in measuring out ingredients and pouring them into different bowls and pans while I cook. Carson has christened himself my "Big Boy Helper". Last night we made a Funfetti cake and I was feeling adventurous. It was the very first time I let him crack the eggs by himself!! He did such a great job and the smile on his face was priceless. Oh how I wish Al hadn't been busy putting Eli to bed so he could have caught the fun on video or at least camera. The cake turned out beautifully and Carson of course sunk downstairs this morning for a secret taste around 5am. He came and woke me up about 5:30am with icing all over his face accompanied with a huge grin suited for the most mischievous boy ever. I couldn't help but smile. Don't worry...Eli got a few sneak bites of icing this morning in between his apple and cereal too!

As you can see, this week has been fun and my boys are amazing (what, you expected less??). I can't wait to see what the future has in store for the four of us. More smiles, hugs, and kisses I'm sure (with lots of cake for good measure).

20 sentences and a pic

Okay, I just typed a huge post about nursing school, Eli, and Carson but blogger is acting up and deleted it all. So....here goes the abridged version.

1.) Nursing school is keeping me incredibly busy.
2.) The boys are doing great.
3.) Ohio weather is crazy
4.) Eli almost certainly will be diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy.
5.) It should only affect his fine motor tasks.
6.) He gets to go to school starting in August!
7.) He now has 10 teeth.
8.) Carson is gaining a bit of weight.
9.) Carson is becoming incredibly independent.
10.) He wants to make his own food/drink and dress himself all the time.
11.) My house is suffering.
12.) We got 11" of snow yesterday.
13.) Carson has missed 5 days of school in the past 2 weeks due to weather closings.
14.) I need prayers.
15.) Carson received further diagnosis on Monday (see #14)
16.) I don't want to discuss it here for many reasons.
17.) I may or may not ever discuss it on this blog.
18.) I'm struggling with this and I don't know why b/c it's not that big of a deal.
19.) I love my boys no matter what.
20.) They also said Carson "most likely has a genius IQ"

Okay...there is the short and sweet version. I will get into more details later but I need to study for my nursing exam that I have tomorrow at 11am. Wish me luck on my exam and on dealing with my issues. My hubby did get me a beautiful 1 carat channel set, princess cut diamond wedding anniversary band for V-day and my birthday. It was a highlight of the week!

Enjoy this pic of the boys in the snow from this morning!