Sunday, October 01, 2006

What makes a woman, a woman?

Hopefully it's not a uterus! On Monday I had my post-op visit from my surgery and I was incredibly anxious about what would be said at this visit. I tried to prepared myself ahead of time by researching the possible options out there for my condition (severe adhesions and adenomyosis). Those of you who know me in real-life know that I overly prepare for things so it was no surprise when I had a Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C, all lined up in my head for possible ways my appointment could go. But, as we all know, life doesn't always go as we plan it even with the best preparation.

My ob walked into the exam room and said, "Hi Kellie. So, How are you feeling? I guess it looks like you're going to have a hysterectomy in the very near future".

I think I had time to gracefully retrive my jaw off the floor before continuing the conversation but I'm not quite sure. Out of all of my "plans", a definate and immediate hysterectomy at age 23 wasn't one of them. I knew that a hysterectomy was an option but I thought it was in a time frame more like 5-10 years down the line.......not in terms as "How quickly can we schedule this?".

As it turns out the adhesions (aka scar tissue) that they found when they went in with the scope are one of the most severe cases my ob has ever seen. He has been practicing for over 30 years. I was able to see the pictures from my laporoscopy and they were amazing. The adhesions are classified as severe and involved my uterus, fallopian tubes, large bowel, possible ovaries, and possible bladder. They could not determine if my ovaries and/or bladder were involved b/c the adhesions were so severe that they couldn't see them. The involvement with my large bowel is especially worriesome and can cause many complications which I don't even want to mention or think about. All of this scar tissue is the reason for the pain I've been in lately. It accompanied with my adenomyosis calls for an immediate abdominal total hysterectomy and possible removal of both ovaries (depending on their involvement once they get in there).

I am devastated and am having a hard time dealing with all of this on top of caring for the boys, struggling in my marriage, and fighting my way through my final year of nursing school. My ob wanted to do the surgery asap but I have to wait until my quarter at school is over. This means my surgery date is the day before Thanksgiving, November 22. I will be in the hospital over Turkey Day, my favorite holiday. I do have so much to be thankful for though. My two little miracle boys who shouldn't even be here but are thriving and beating all the odds. My husband who drives me mad and we have to work so hard through our issues but he means well in the end and loves me more than anything. And all of the support I have from everyone else. It's just hard to deal with it all and hold it all together when it seems like things keep piling one top of one another for 4 years straight. This wasn't meant to be a pity party post (sorry about the alliteration!) but I had to get my feelings out a bit. This operation is going to be a trial in my life and I hope the 6-8 week recovery goes quickly and that I am able to get back into the swing of things and out of this funk I've been stuck in for way too long.


Angela said...

So sorry you need the surgery. My friend just went through the same surgery (same diagnosis too) and she feels so so much better now. I hope it turns out to be a good thing in the end. I'll be thinking of you.

Jessica said...

(((hugs))) Kellie. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Misty (SunnyIvy) said...

Kellie, So sorry that you have one more huge thing on your plate..I'll be thinking of you..I hope are able to remain as strong as you always are with everything life has dealt to you...You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers..Misty