Alphabet Soup

This morning I added seven new letters to the end of my name. Over the past few months I have been studying to take the American Association of Critical Care Nurses' CCRN certification exam in the neonatal specialty. The test is a 150 question computer based exam over three hours. At 0900 I walked into the testing booth, sat down, took several deep breaths, smiled for the picture, and began. Eighty-nine minutes later I walked out with a slight headache and a huge smile. I passed and earned my CCRN-NIC!!!



You know you have little kids though when you go out to Bob Evans for lunch to celebrate :)

Toad-aly Cool

Meet our new friend Blacky. Eli found him in Gigi and BobPop's back yard when they were hunting for worms. He started yelling, "I caught a frog! I caught a frog! Come quick 'cause I caught a frog!". Well, he was right....halfway. He caught a toad. I could not believe he actually snatched it up and didn't squish it to death by the time I ran to the back to the yard. Eli was so proud of himself. Carson was a bit turned off but still excited. I took the toad from Eli and we looked him over and named him. Of course this is when Blacky decided to pee all over me (don't worry, there was plenty of antibacterial soap and water post-Blacky tonight!). The boys decided Blacky would like to live under the raspberry bushes in the garden and eat all of the bugs that live there. Eli grabbed him up and found a good spot and let him free. Hopefully Blacky will be there tomorrow when they search for him.

Park Play Date

My friend Amanda and I met at the park for a fun play date with our kids on Tuesday. She has two gorgeous munchkins who are five and one. We met at the train park and let them loose. Little did we know that we would spend the next two hours watching non-stop action and endless energy. Carson and Eli had a blast chasing Emmy and Wesley found the boys quite fascinating. Here are some photos...







What a perfect day!

Spring!

After an unexpected change in Mother's Day plans late Sunday evening, I found myself sitting on the screened-in porch at my parents' house and relaxing while the boys played with trucks. It was a lovely night even if the original plans fell through and I have enjoyed every single minute of these lovable, snuggable, growing boys this week. I need to post all of the fun pics of our escapades tomorrow but for tonight I will leave you with a few snapshots of their cuteness.

When did they grow up into almost 4 and 6 year olds?

Not Me! Monday #2

It's time for another Not Me! Monday. After reading all of the incredible things I didn't do this past week, head over to MckMama's blog for her weekly "Not Me! Monday" post.

One day last week after putting the boys down for nap I certainly didn't lay down and sleep for three-and-a-half-HOURS before waking up to cook dinner for the family. I would never need that much sleep in the middle of the day when my morning was spent lounging, drinking coffee, and surfing the web while Al studied. Nope, not me!

An OCD mama like myself could never send her almost four year old to school wearing plaid red/blue/tan/white shorts with a lime green shirt and yellow socks. Completing the look with blue AFOs with planes, cars, and streets signs adorning them and blue/white tennis shoes. I would not!

On Wednesday I never would have worn my Victoria Secret yoga pants all day long instead of my jeans because I didn't feel like seeing if my butt had grown larger in the past few days. I didn't eat a bag of Archway Soft Iced Molasses cookies in three days on top of that incident either :) Wouldn't do it!

What things did you not do this week??

Strawberries

Carson's illness didn't seem to fit the diagnosis of croup and asthma exacerbation when his symptoms grew and his fever/malaise increased yesterday. He wouldn't get off the couch and was restless sleeping. This morning he woke up at 8:30 (two hours later than his normal rise and shine) and yawned really big. This is what I saw....



Now I know why he's feeling like crap. Off to the pediatrician at 2:10 to get a script for antibiotics. Too bad it's not going to be just a follow-up appointment from the ER visit.

***** Leave a comment with Carson's diagnosis and why he will need antibiotics and I'll mail/bring you a special treat! *****

Not Me! Monday -- New Edition

I have been inspired by MckMama over on her blog with her weekly post entitled "Not Me! Monday". The concept is writing about all of the embarrassing, non-perfect, brutally honest things you did over the past week. The catch is to blog about them as if you didn't do them! It is quite therapeutic and fun which is exactly what every Monday needs.

This past week I certainly did not fudge the words in a bedtime story book because I was exhausted....and get caught by my almost 6 year old. I guess Carson's reading skills are advancing faster than I knew.

Throughout the week I did not eat three generously heaped bowls of Cherry Cordial ice cream and then complain when my scrub pants were just a tad tight at work on Friday. That wouldn't make any sense!

Last Wednesday I definitely did not forget to re-order Elias' tube feeding supplies for the month and run out of MIC-Key button continuous feed extensions. I would never be that unorganized!

Head over and read up on MckMama's not me moments, blog your own, and share them for everyone to read. Perfection in motherhood is far fetched. Why shouldn't we get a little stress relief and humor at our own expense?

Love's Boundaries

Tonight while snuggling with Mr. Sick and Mr. Bouncy they started telling me how much they loved me. Elias started first by saying he "loved me more than the Polar Express". If you know Elias at all, you know that is a lot for him! Then Carson countered with "I love you all the way to Mars and back home". Finally Elias proclaimed at the top of his lungs "I love you all the way up to heaven and that's the farthest you can go!".

God I never want to forget this age and these priceless moments.

I love my boys to infinity (and that's forever and ever!)

Mr. Sick

Healthy and playing "Surgery with Construction hats" on Saturday night


Carson woke up sick this morning. Wheezing, barking cough, fever of 102.7, and feeling just plain crappy. I was at work when I received a call from Al around 9. Al never calls me at work. I think this may have been the second time. He said he was bringing C-man to the emergency room at my work and dropping off Elias at my parents. He put Carson on the phone so I could hear him breathe and ask him a few questions. Man did he ever sound bad. Thankfully I was able to take a few minutes off the floor (thank so much Anne!) and meet them downstairs.



They diagnosed him with croup and an asthma exacerbation. His history of asthma and tracheal stenosis in addition to countless ED visits and treatment lead them to this. After filling him up with dexamethasone and sending us home to watch for worsening symptoms, we grabbed a juice from the cafeteria and I kissed Carson and Al goodbye. It was so hard to be stuck at work while my oldest babe was in respiratory distress with a fever. I ran out of work as fast as I could and arrived home in record time for snuggles and hugs.

Sleeping with Daddy


*****UPDATE 5-4-09:*****

Today Carson missed school. His fever is bouncing between 101 and 103 with Tylenol. He has been laying around the whole day. Carson does.not.do.that! We are heading to the pediatrician tomorrow at 2:10 and hopefully they will have good news. Right now he is curled up on my lap with his head resting on my shoulder and legs dangling off towards the floor. Send get better vibes to my big guy. He certainly needs them.

Sick Baby


One of Elias for good measure

Snuggling

Yesterday Carson started getting sick. Nothing serious, just your run-of-the-mill common cold. Thankfully. He was sneezing and blowing his nose all afternoon and evening. It was different compared to other times my big guy has been sick. Carson was acutely aware of his symptoms and trying to process what each of them meant. He is growing up!

Sneezing - "I need to blow my nose."
Fever - "I'm hot Mom. Can I have some Tylenol?".
Lethargy - "Can we please snuggle on the couch with your super soft blanket Mom?".

Of course we can Carson. I would drop everything to get some snuggle time with my almost 6 year old first born. How could I ever say no? We snuggled up on my queen bed wrapped in the blanket my little sister gave me for my birthday. He let me run my fingers through his hair and hold him close. Anyone with an almost six year old boy knows that this was nothing sort of miraculous and a special treat for me. He fell asleep on my chest and I carried his cold ridden body to his bed and tucked him in. I hope today brings less illness but allows me to keep the snuggle time with my big guy.

I'm a soccer mom

It's official....I'm a soccer mom. Well, minus the mini-van. Carson started soccer off with a bang this evening. His club had a special "Soccer Rocks" night with the local professional soccer team. The kids were able to perform drills with four of the teams stars, get a fun t-shirt, and have an autograph session with the guys. Even though it poured and was about 50 degrees, all of the kids had a blast. Carson was in heaven and ran around like a free spirit. He was one of the few kids who had not actively played on a soccer team before but for the most part, you couldn't tell he was a newbie. The parents probably thought C-man was in the wrong age group because he was a head taller than all of the other kids but was in the middle of the 4-6 year age group.

Carson playing keep away with Gino!


Carson and Crew Cat


I was a typical proud mama on the field (which by the way was super cool to be out on in the middle of the giant stadium). I took video and pictures on my camera and cheered for my Carson. The players couldn't have been nicer. They truly enjoyed interacting with the kids. Carson especially like playing around with Gino because he played keep away with Carson and made him work for the ball. Overall it was an amazing opportunity and I'm glad we didn't stay home because of the rain. Carson is rearing to go for practice on Thursday. Wish him luck....their first game is this Saturday!

Video of one of the drills-- Carson is in the lime green t-shirt

Quick Catch-Up

Busy is not even the word for our lives lately. Things are going great and I can't complain. Eli's upper GI and abdominal u/s went better then expected. He does not have gallstones but his Nissen is still intact, loose, and NON-FUNCTIONING. He went for an endoscopy with biopsies last week and his stomach and duodenum took fabulous. His esophagus had mild irritation from his GERD and some bacteria growing on the top few layers of tissue samples. We will continue his current med regime and try to treat his reflux with adjusting pump feeds during the day and at night now on top of being maxed on meds. A repeat Nissen is something we want to avoid if possible due to the high probability of him not being able to eat orally again post-op. His GI and surgeon are in agreement with us and so we will see how things progress from here.


Carson is doing well also. I was able to go to his school for career week and speak to the kids in his class about neonatal nursing. Carson was excited to show me off and his classmates loved seeing the tiny preemie gear from Carson and Eli's NICU stays. I brought along a few stethoscopes for the kids to play with and you would have thought they were gold! It's hard to believe Carson is going to be finished with Kindergarten and getting ready for first grade. He is not a baby anymore and every day he is asserting his independence more and more. His teacher went on maternity leave about a month ago and the permanent sub is having trouble reading Carson's signs. This has brought on a few behavior issues at school and home from frustration but we are working it all out. His reading is skyrocketing and Carson is incredibly proud of his increasing knowledge. It is really fun to watch this stage of development.


I'm back to exercising and dieting. Ugggh. No fun at all but I feel out of shape. I started on the Jullian Michael's 30 Day Shred 9 days ago in addition to putting in my food intake in www.thedailyplate.com to track my eating habits. So far I feel stronger, more toned, and healthier and it hasn't even been two weeks. The boys think it's funny when I work out and they always want to try and exercise with me. Crazy little turkeys that they are.

Al is almost done with his LPN program and will graduate on June 20th. I can't tell you how proud of him I am. He has really taken his education seriously and fought for each A he has earned. Graduating with a 4.0 is almost in his reach! He also finally made good on his promise to me to quit dipping Coppenhagen. It has been tough but on 4/1 he stopped and hasn't had a dip since. :)

Well, this update grew into more then a "quick note" so I better get back to studying for my CCRN-NIC. I take my test on 5/21 and can't wait! Wish me luck.

Nursing and the Economy

Browsing through blogs tonight I caught a post on http://realityrounds.com that really struck a cord. The author is also a NICU RN and her blog is quite interesting. I find that I agree with this post of hers and am irritated when people casually mention that they will "just become a nurse" so they can get a job right away because the economy is tough. GRRRRR.....it's frustrating! Thankfully I'm not the only RN feeling this way...

Do You Want to Make More Money? Become a Locksmith, or a Nurse!
Posted by realityrounds on March 6, 2009

The economy is in the tank, unemployment is at 8.1%, a 25 year high. There are 4.4 million unemployed, with countless others who are underemployed. So what are the media pundits solution? Become a nurse!

I have to admit, this rubs me the wrong way. It is a huge pet peeve of mine. I read quotes from CNN of a former real estate agent becoming a nurse because it is “a more stable job”. I hear the Governor of Michigan talking on “Meet the Press”, saying a solution for all the recently unemployed in the auto industry, is to retrain them in health care.

Yes, there is a nursing shortage that will only get worse because of the aging of the population. Yes, we need more nurses. But, no, we do not want people going into nursing because it is a “stable” job, or they are desperate for work. The media pundits make nursing out to be a job that any sucker can do.

Nursing, by the way, requires a college education. You cannot become a nurse through a Sally Struthers training catalog. “Do you want to make more money? How about a career as a locksmith, TV repairmen, or a nurse!” It takes two years to complete an Associates Degree in nursing, and four years for a Bachelors of Science degree in nursing. Hopefully, we will be out of this recession/depression in two years.

Please, do not apply for nursing unless you have the following qualifications:

A love for science and the scientific process
An academic mind, with good problem solving skills
A love of medicine, health and social sciences
A good attitude
Not minding long hours on your feet, working weekends and holidays, and off shifts
A genuine desire to help others maintain health, gain health and promote health
A desire to promote the image and professionalism of nursing.
It would be great to have a new pool of nursing candidates who can bring some of the above qualifications to the profession. But, please do not apply if the only reason you want to be a nurse is because you can’t find a better job. Just become a locksmith then!

RR

The Week in Review

Is it only Thursday? This has been one week packed full of obligations and appointments. Sunday I worked my normal 12 hour shift and came home to a fabulous dinner prepared by my hubby. Monday morning I had coffee with my mom and caught up on the past week's events. After inhaling too much caffeine and sugar I headed back home to grab Carson off the bus and get Al and Eli in the car for appointment #1 of the day.

Carson had his routine check-up in the Behavior Clinic at Childrens at 1230. The appointment went quite well and his NP was pleased with his progress over the past three months. Al and I are quite happy with Carson's new skills in self control, calming techniques, and redirecting himself when he gets overstimulated. Carson was able to show off his intelligence a bit by reading and spelling all kinds of things and throwing a bit of math in the mix as well. He is such a fun kid. Growth over the past three months has been good and his new stats are 48.8" tall and 48lbs even. Not too shabby at all. No wonder everyone thinks he is 8 though!

Next Elias had his GI appointment at 315. We went over all of the symptoms he has been having over the past few months as well as his recent test results. His weight gain is poor but he is tall. New stats are 41.75" and 34lbs. He needs more weight on him. They ordered him a new feeding pump that he will be able to wear more comfortably during the day (the Zevex Entralite Infinity)- we have an old Zevex Entralite now that is bulkier and heavier. He is also going for an upper GI on Friday to make sure his Nissen fundoplication is truly undone. Our GI doesn't want to send him back to our surgeon for a re-do without a recent upper GI study showing it is undone. He is also getting an abdominal ultrasound on Friday to check for gallstones due to his recent severe right sided pain and clay colored stools. Hopefully that comes back negative. We will see where to go once the test results are in on Monday.

Tuesday was Eli's appointment with Phys Med where he officially received his cerebral palsy diagnosis. Spastic Diplegia. Right into his chart. It seems so permanent even though we have been living with it and talking about it for years. To have it be in black and white finally seems awkward. His doctor said that since his studies have shown no other reasoning for his chronic aspiration, it is linked to his CP and will most likely be permanent as well. That was a blow but we will deal with it. He is loving his AFOs and doing quite well with them. They are working his muscles and will say, "my legs are tired, can you carry me?". We won't do it but at least he is showing us that the braces are forcing him to use the correct muscles to walk and breaking that tone down.

Tuesday I was also supposed to meet some wonderful friends for lunch but woke up with a fever and feeling like someone hit me in the face with a baseball bat. Wednesday wasn't much better and Eli started feeling sick. Today is worse but I don't have a fever finally. End of winter colds are no fun at all. I thought I had escaped it but unfortunately the bug attacked me hard. We have gone through way too many tissues in our household this week!

So....there's the update for the week. Tomorrow we have testing but it's Friday(even if it is the 13th) so it has to be a good day. Thanks for reading if you got this far and sorry for the venting. :)

Badges of Boyhood

Today was an unusual March day for Ohio weather. Over 70 degrees, windy, and perfect for two little boys to play all day outside. Carson and Elias spent the day riding bikes, flying kites, digging in dirt, and getting into mischief like every young boy should on a day like today. The two of them looked like they had taken a bath in the back of a dump truck and then spun around in a cement mixer for a few hours once nap time rolled around. Every small request from, "Can you please put your shoes on the steps?" to "It's time for nap now, head upstairs" was met with tears and spaghetti noodle limbs.

Awww...the moment you know as a parent that your children are beyond exhausted from playing their hearts out. When they fall to the floor into a pile of childhood flesh needing a good hug. This is what the beautiful day brought to our house this afternoon. Unfortunately it also brought a few reminders from their great adventures. Carson is now the proud owner of a gash on his elbow, upper arm, and forehead from racing on his bike AND tripping on the playground. Elias, not to be outdone by his older brother, decided he would take flight off of his bike too. His new nickname is Rudolph and he keeps asking when the skin on his nose is going to grow back.

A few scrapes, band aids, kisses, and hugs later all was well again at our house and the boys were off to dreamland. They both couldn't wait to show me their war wounds when I came home from work tonight. Their badges of boyhood.

Trauma! Emergency! Practice?

My little sister's best friend is an EMS-basic student and invited Carson and Elias down to school for their pediatric assessment lab this week. The boys participated in training for assessments, C-spine, trauma skills, and vitals. They had a blast and ate up all of the attention. Thanks Brooke for thinking of us and including the boys in such a great activity. I'm glad we were able to help you guys out in learning pediatric assessment skills for the field.

Here are a few fun pics of our little trauma victims....

Casting Day

Elias was casted for his AFOs today. The doctor was very nice and let Eli help with the entire process. He even gave Eli the left over plaster to take home and show Carson since there was only a tiny bit remaining on the roll. After looking through three pages of designs and colors over and over again, Elias finally decided on the blue ankle foot orthotics with the firetrucks, cars, airplanes, and street signs. They will come up the just under his knee and extend to his toes. The doctor was optimistic on the length of time Eli would need to wear his braces. He guessed that we would need them for 2-3 years depending on how well Eli responds. Let's hope that the wonderful doctor is correct and our little guy will be brace-free by 1st grade :) We should get them in around the 2nd week of March so I will post pics then.

Recap

What an incredibly hectic month packed full of cuddling, vacation, work, studying, hospital visits, craft time, cooking, and the occasional nap. We are all doing well and making it through the longest feeling but shortest hourly month of Ohio winters.

Carson spent ten days in Florida with my parents on vacation during the first half of February and came home with freckles dotting his nose and two scrapped knees. He built sand castles, visited the Kennedy Space Center, watched wild alligators, waved at the Disney cruise ships as they left port, and was spoiled rotten by Gigi and Bobpop. We missed him terribly and the house just wasn't the same without his quirky comments and big bright smile. Gigi took him on his first ever plane ride on the way home from Florida and even let Carson have the window seat. C said the houses looked like beetles and cars were like little ants on their way to the ant hill. What a fun kid!

Elias was lost without his big brother but was in turn spoiled rotten by Al and me. We had special dinner dates out, trips to the park when it was warm enough, and Al even took him to the movies one Sunday while I was at work. Eli finally started recognizing a couple of letters this month and we couldn't be happier. He is practicing writing his name over and over again. Sometimes you can tell it says "Eli" and other times we just tell him what a good job he is doing with all his hard work!

As for the medical update. His swallow study didn't turn out very well and he is definitely aspirating on thin liquids. We are back to thickening everything again and Eli is mad. He study also showed that he refluxes the entire bolus almost every time he swallows. That explains why he is refusing to eat more and more and we are back to using his feeding pump during the day again. We go to the GI soon to see what the new plan is. The bone density scan came back GREAT!! No osteoporosis or osteopenia so his foot break was just a fluke. He is getting casted for solid 90 degree AFOs (ankle foot orthodics) on Tuesday to help with his tone and CP. His MRI went fairly smoothly including the anesthesia and intubation. They ended using contrast after all since they saw some bright areas on the floor of his 4th ventricle and the foramen of Magnie. Thankfully the contrast showed no abnormal areas and the MRI was read as normal. Still no concrete answers but we will continue to treat his symptoms. If anyone has advice on AFOs I would love it. The great news is Eli's lungs seem to be doing awesome right now and he is running around causing havoc like every other almost 4 year old boy I know.

Al is in the thick of his final quarter of nursing school and working his tail off. His class schedule is insane going from 5-11 on Mondays through Fridays and then for 6 weeks on Saturdays for 6 hours each day! Ouch is all I can say. It will all be worth it in the end though when he has that license and can say he is a nurse. I am so proud of him and can't wait to see him walk across that stage.

Sorry for the lack of updates this month. As you can see we have been a bit busy with life but I will add pictures soon. I have tons of adorable shots of our two boys.

Snowday pictures

Today we had a big snowstorm. The boys didn't have school, I didn't have work, and Al's final was cancelled due to the weather. What was left to do??? Play of course!!

We made cinnamon rolls for breakfast along with yogurt and hot tea. The boys gobbled it up and asked for seconds. After gorging themselves the bounced off to play Legos. Carson sat and built creations with his new Lego set for hours today. He made a little dog and his owner. They needed a house and a dog house both with windows of course. The dog owner also needed a truck so Carson built one too. The Lego building was a blast and Carson was super proud of his architecture.




Eli wanted to make pictures with glitter glue. He gathered all of the glitter glue containers in the house and laid them out on the table. After picking up each color, shaking it to determine how much goo he could squirt out, and then organizing them by "prettiness", a masterpiece was created. Blue construction paper covered with piles of glitter glue layered the kitchen table. Elias was grinning from ear to ear with hints of silver and green glitter flecks across his lips and cheeks. I can only imagine how long it will take for his masterpiece to dry!



After lunch we had nap time. This always takes forever at our house but Al and I bribed the boys with time in the snow if they went to sleep. It worked and they were out cold in no time. Nap time ended and the snowsuits were pulled on. Carson and Eli looked like little stuffed piggies all bundled up for the cold. Al went outside and had a snowball fight with them and build a snow castle fort. Six rosey red cheeks later and everyone was inside eating homemade chili for dinner. My parents came over to eat and we had a great time. The boys watched Thomas' Snowy Surprise with some cherry cheesecake ice cream and hot tea for snack and then headed up to bed. What a great snowday!

MRIs, Uvulitis, Bone Density, and Fungus???

ACCKKKK!!! I don't think my brain can take anymore of this crazyness. In the past two weeks we have had more medical intervention than the past two months. I am stressed to the max and exhausted. It all started in the beginning of January when Eli broke out in a weird fungal rash all over his trunk and upper limbs. They took a culture but it somehow was lost in transit to Children's Hospital. He has been on grisefulvin (and antifungal) for 4 weeks now with 2 more left to go. The rash just now started to clear up a few days ago and we (as well as the doctors) were getting worried. They do not know why his immune system allowed him to have such a wide-spread fungal infection which is rare but he seems fine otherwise.

His physical medicine appointment was another story. Eli has been doing worse over the past few months in terms of his gross motor skills and swallowing. After he got his cast off Al and I immediately were worried about his gait and external hip rotation. He couldn't walk and when he did it was dragging his right leg behind him. Going down steps was a no go without one of us holding both hands or carrying him all the way down. Eli was falling a ton and kept saying his legs hurt in addition to his ankles being super tight. One night after bath I was putting lotion on him and he had extended clonus only on his right ankle which concerned me a great deal. I guess I was right because his phys med doctor was quite alarmed by his declining neuro status as well.

She ordered a bone density scan to make sure there is nothing wrong with his bones because he shouldn't have broken his 3rd metatarsal jumping on a matress. We had the scan on Monday and I will get the results this Friday. She also ordered an MRI of his brain and spine. It was supposed to be done on Monday right after his bone density scan but the anesthesiologist was concerned with his aspiration and respiratory compromise so it will now be done intubated and under general anesthesia on Monday Feb. 2. My poor baby has to be put under for yet another procedure. His doctor also ordered another swallow study to evaluate his dysphagia next Thursday the 5th. Cross your fingers for that one. Eli will be getting casted for AFOs in the coming weeks due to the decline in his gait and function of walking. I hope he pics out a pattern that he likes so we don't have to fight him to wear them!

With all of this going on I have been a mess. I hate having things pop back up from his NICU days. It has almost been 4 years since his scary arrival 15 weeks early and during times like these I hurt inside for the struggles he continues to face. We are unimaginably lucky and blessed with how unscathed Elias has been for a 25 weeker but neuro changes and g-tubes somehow eat at my soul when thinking of my rambunctious little man. It truly is a journey that we will get through together.

The uvulitis came into play with the only member of our household that seems to NEVER get sick....Al. He woke up at 3am yesterday choking and when he calmed down enough to let me look in his mouth, his uvula (the dangly thing in the back of your throat) was swollen to the width and length of his pinky!! We called my parents to come sit with the kids since they were sleeping and headed over to the ED. He got a steriod shot in his hip and put on oral steriods for the next five days. The ED doc said someone had to stay with him for 24 hours in case the swelling got worse and blocked his airway so I had to call off work :( Everything ended up okay though and he is now sitting next to me complaining about me still being on the computer!